So, this isn't actually lolita related, but it has been stewing in my mind for months now and I really wanted to let it out. Free stuff and favors: the older I get, the more I hate these things, in almost all aspects. I like getting free gifts, but then I hate when they break or fail because I can't complain, they were free right? It still is a bad experience even though you didn't pay for it. This works opposite for me a seller too, if something I've given for free breaks, what should I do...I can't refund them. And offering for them to mail something to me and then fixing it and then mailing it back seems a whole lot of asking for something that cost less than $10 in some cases.
As an artist and seamstress free stuff works in other annoying ways, like trading. A lot of artists trade stuff, like a painting for tailored clothes or a sculpture for a painting or whatever, you get the idea. Sometimes these trades can be really awesome and amazing, and sometimes they can suck. Especially when the other person doesn't hold up their end, or it takes them a year to do something that you finished 2 months ago. Now if the time is set up originally to be a long wait, I don't care and understand, but when dates are set and ignored, it really bugs me. I'm a schedule person, I like having deadlines, and I think they should be followed (unless something tragic happens). I'm very business like in that way, and most people who know me personally would think I am very different in work and volunteer related aspects because I treat everything seriously.
And the last one, which is so touchy, but it is the one that has been bothering me the most....favors. I hate favors, but people offer them to me a lot. I guess they like me (which is good). But here is the horrible and annoying truth about favors. When they totally screw things up for you, you can't complain to them because "they were doing you a favor." It's not a business transaction, you aren't paying them, you have nothing to hold onto if it falls through. And most of the people who offer favors are friends, so it's not like you can tell them off (in most cases). Lately favors have been kicking my ass, in the giving and receiving area. I do a lot of favors to people with clothes and stuff I sell ("sure you can pay me later"--then 6 months happens and I have to track them down). Or my other favorite- borrowing stuff, that I don't see for many many months after. So, i don't know...are favors good or bad? Sometimes they are wonderful, but other times...not so much and cause more hassle then they are worth. I wish I could tell before I accepted (and I have a hard time saying no).
This isn't to say I don't appreciate favors, I really do, and I love all my friends very much. But I've always hated relying on other people, ever since I was in high school I very much liked to do everything on my own and still do, even if it's too much. Those who know me well, know I'm like this to a crazy degree.
So I guess if I say no to a favor, it's not because I don't appreciate it, but because I don't want to resent you later if it falls through--even if it isn't your fault that it did. It's just easier that way, for everyone, that I don't deal with that stress.
ok, whew...feel a little better know that I wrote that all down. How do you feel about this stuff, any stories you want to share or advice...go ahead in the comments section.